I should begin by saying that this little one has been a total and utter surprise since day one. We found out that we were pregnant the second week in December against all odds. We were in shock but thrilled. We had a pretty uneventful pregnancy with the exception of a few minor hiccups here and there. (Speaking of hiccups- this little one had them a dozen times a day from the day she was conceived!) I enjoyed her pregnancy so much and really cherished this one as it was our last experience with pregnancy. It brings tears to my eyes as I type thinking back on how much I loved this little monkey before we even got to meet.
My “due date” was August 26, 2011. I have a history of post date births and so we weren’t at all expecting her to arrive before September. As our due date approached, I began with pretty intense early labor. I had lots of contractions, I lost mucus plug and other signs that pointed in the direction that she was on her way starting at 38 weeks. Needless to say, she was NOT early. In fact, with all of the early labor I had begun to doubt that I would EVER know if I was really in labor. I would go hours in what felt like very real labor and then it would just stop. My family felt like I was crying wolf. I started to feel like it too. I was starting to feel guilty for “wasting” people’s time and I was getting a lot of crap from family and friends about it. I started joking that I wouldn’t bother to call anyone until I saw her head coming out....oh I will learn to laugh at that later on.
My 40 week appointment came and I opted to get a cervical check done since I had avoided them up to that point. I was already dilated to a 3+ and 80% effaced! I was in shock! I had NEVER progressed like that on my own with my other two babies. So we sat out the weekend thinking baby was eminent. I continued to have hours of contractions that never really got more intense and never got close together, so I ignored them. Josh went to work Monday, no baby. Tuesday I had little to no contracting and actually felt quite fine. I started getting concerned that I was getting closer to the ever present 42 week mark and that I was going to have to be induced. I just had to keep telling myself that Lyza would choose her birthday when she was good and ready.
Wednesday the 31st came early at 2:30 AM. I woke up to contractions that were quite uncomfortable and that I couldn’t sleep through. I got up and moved downstairs to try to find a better position. I basically sat up and breathed through contractions all morning all the while watching horrible infomercials. Josh left for work and I warned him I might be calling him to come home. Sure enough, a couple of hours after he left, I called him panicked that contractions were coming closer and more intense. He dropped everything and rushed home. Once he got home, I decided to try to relax and see if any change occurred. Contractions stayed the same and finally, after 12 hours of exhaustion, they started to pitter out. I called my midwife and she suggested sleep and to see if things progress from there. I went to bed around 11.
Like clockwork 2 AM rolled around on the first of September and I was having contractions again. These were different. They were only 30-45 seconds long but wow- they were intense. I tried to just keep as relaxed and calm as possible. I was able to pass out in between them and slept on and off until 8. I woke up with more bloody show and called my midwife. Contractions were not longer than 45 seconds and they were far from regular. They were anywhere from 6 to 12 minutes apart. They were intense but nothing earth shattering. Because things were not seeming to progress, I just told my midwife that I would plan on seeing her at 4 for my 41 week appointment. This was the first time that I had considered an intervention and wanted her to break my water. I actually told Josh that day that I knew that if my water just broke that she would fly right out because I could FEEL how far along progressed I was. I knew I was probably dilated to at least a 6 or a 7.
I made lunch for me and the family all the while having to take periodic breaks to breathe through contractions. They were inconvenient and uncomfortable but nothing excruciating. At 1 PM, I sat down and had three contractions in 10 minutes. I thought to myself – that’s weird and I don’t feel so hot. I went upstairs to use the bathroom thinking that I had just eaten too much or that the coffee I had with my breakfast was irritating my stomach. I sat down to do my business and had the mother of all contractions- in fact it was like having two at a time. I started to shake and wanted to crawl out of my skin. And then my water popped. I screamed for Josh to get the phone and start our phone tree of support and to get ready to head to the hospital. He made it through calling our doula and my sister before I started screaming. Josh tried to get me up and down stairs to the car. It was then that the thought hit me- oh crap- THIS IS TRANSITION. I just yelled at him to help me get my pants off because there was no way that I was going ANYWHERE.
He asked who to call next and I told him 911. I kind of went into this strange tranze at this point where I KNEW I had to calm down and relax but my body was running the show. It was at this moment while Josh was repeating our address for what felt like the 20th time that I felt her crown. I reached down and touched what I thought was her head. I screamed for Josh to look and he confirmed it. It took all of 8 steps round trip to grab a towel from the hallway and by the time he returned, Lyza’s head was completely out. I remember holding her head and thinking that this couldn’t really be happening. I was in a full squatting position on the floor- one arm on the toilet, the other on the side of the bathtub.
My body gave me a whopping 2 minute break before the next contraction started and without even pushing, her body shot out. Josh caught her in his arms mid air. He handed her to me since he was still on the phone with 911. Her cord was so short that I couldn’t really even pull her up to my chest. She was so calm- it was crazy. She coughed, and squinted and let out a little squeal and that was about it. She just sat and stared at us. So we sat and stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity and let the total shock of what had just happened wash over us. WE JUST HAD A BABY. ALONE. IN OUR BATHROOM. AT HOME?! All I remember saying is – “We did it! Just the two of us babe!”
Duncan peeked his head in the bathroom and asked if the baby was out. Oh yeah Duncan is home! I guess he had been trying to peek his head in to see what all the screaming was about and Josh tried to keep him out because of all the blood. I told him that he had a new sister. At that moment, the EMTs came in and Duncan ran to the top of the stairs yelling-“ I have a new sister, come and see!”
Somewhere in the mix of all of this the 911 operator was instructing Josh to find some string or dental floss to tie off the cord. He ran and grabbed the floss and I still get a kick out of this...among all of this chaos, he remembered to tell the operator that we wanted to wait until the cord stopped pulsing before we tied it off. How awesome is that?! I thought that was SO cute and so awesome that all these months of prepping for an intervention free and natural birth experience had actually sunken in with him. My heart swelled with love for him in that moment.
The EMTs came in and cut the cord and started all the routine tests to ensure she was safe. Sure enough, everything was awesome. The EMTs got me off the floor- after much instruction from ME on how to do so. How many male EMTs does it take to get a woman off the floor….the answer was six. One to listen to me bark orders and follow them, the other 5 to stand around and play with their gadgets and crack really dumb jokes. I had to laugh that I felt like I was the only one with my wits about me and I had just delivered a baby. Oh well…
They had to take me downstairs in a gurney because I had lost a LOT of blood at this point and I was in no condition to walk. Miss Lyza was downstairs pooping for the second time and being checked for heart rate and saturation levels. She was perfect, perfect, perfect. They strapped her in with me on the gurney and placed me in the back of the ambulance. I remember looking at Josh outside while they were lifting me in and loving him more in that moment than I swear I ever had. He was white as a sheet and obviously in shock but I had to laugh because he STILL had a level head on his shoulders and was on top of everything….which is SO Josh.
They transported us to Riverton Hospital which is only about 3 miles away from our house. I asked if she could breastfeed and the EMT was totally fine with it. I didn’t even have to move her. The second she smelled that boobie- she was off on the hunt! It was hilarious! She was rooting around and practically positioned herself to latch. It was a perfect latch from the first time! The EMT commented that his wife would hate me and I had to tell him that this was the first time ANY of my kids did anything like that!
We got to the ER and that was when either I went into total shock or the humor of the situation hit me the hardest. We arrived to a hallway FULL of medical staff and I started to laugh uncontrollably. All these people for just the two of us? We were fine! They took Lyza across the room to a barrage of about 10 people. They put her under all of these machines and hooked her up to heart monitors and stuff. I was on the other side of the room just hanging out answering questions about how this happened. Not because they wanted or needed to know any medical information, they were just curious.
The ER doc informed me that I couldn’t be admitted to Labor and Delivery since I had already delivered and so we would have to have any procedures done in the ER and then transferred to Mom and Me for recovery. My midwife had been notified but she was actually in the middle of another birth at Jordan Valley 20 minutes away. The ER doc said that I would need some stitches but that he would prefer to have my midwife take care of all of my work. I was fine with that. It took about an hour and half for her to get to see me. I tore in a lovely star pattern but all three tears were only a first degree which meant that they weren’t deep but gosh dang did they sting.
We spent 24 hours in recovery mainly because I had hemorrhaged pretty badly and I was pretty anemic. I didn’t have to have blood administered but I was really weak. I’m grateful that the nurses had the foresight not to let me use the bathroom by myself the first time. I kept telling her that I was fine. I felt fine- until I got the horrible echoing hearing and tunnel vision thing. She helped me back in bed and that’s when I decided maybe she was right and that I should take it a bit easier.
I spent 9 months planning this really special, natural birth. I wanted it just so- aromatherapy, my doula, candlelight. The funny thing is that I didn’t get it- I got something SO much better. I got to have an experience with my husband that I will never forget and has brought us so much closer. The two of us alone created her and the two of us alone brought her into this world. Can you ask for anything more special?
Its funny because now that the dust has settled a bit and the story of Lyza’s birth has gotten out, we have been asked a few questions that make me laugh. Did it hurt? In the moment, the LAST thing on my mind was a pain level. All my body and brain could focus on was getting her here. The physical pain wasn’t even a thought. Not to mention, adrenaline and endorphins are funny little boogers aren’t they. The second question I hear a lot is- Weren’t you scared? No. I wasn’t. Once I actually realized what the situation was there was no fear and no doubt. I knew that we could do this and I knew our baby was safe and I was more confident in that moment than I can explain.
There is a blog that I read my whole pregnancy that was titled Birth Without Fear. I always kind of laughed the titled off and thought to myself, there has got to be a LITTLE bit of fear- there are a million things that could go wrong. And yes- there are a million things that COULD go wrong but all I know is that in that moment- I was completely fearless, strong and capable. I DID birth without fear and it was awesome.
