Pregnancy MUST HAVES

So, like Oprah, I have a list of my favorite things.  In fact, I believe I posted a list in jest a while back.  Now that I am pregnant again, and for the last time, I have found certain things that I cannot function without.  I thought that I would share them.  What are your cant live with-outs??

1- Fold Over Yoga Pants- Never before have I found such comfort in a pair of pants that wasn't necessarily maternity wear.  I love them because they stretch and move with you.  When you are pregnant, I just pull the fold over all the way up to conceal the babe and then after you have the baby, fold down for some extra lower pooch support.  Love, love, love them!  My personal favorite are Old Navy's version.  They are cheap, they wear well and I adore that they come in long length for us leggy gals too!

2- CamelBak Better Bottle- I discovered these wonderful water bottles after my gastric bypass surgery a couple of years ago and I will never stray.  I found it really difficult to drink as much water as I needed to without getting a lot of air in my stomach.  (which is really painful when your stomach doesn't stretch)  These little babies are awesome because they are straw mechanism water bottles but they dont get air in the line.  I ALWAYS drink more through a straw so its easier for me to drink for two while pregnant.

3- Secret Fit Belly Motherhood Maternity Jeans-  I don't know how I EVER survived my last two pregnancies without these jeans.  They are SUPER stretchy, so they accommodate a growing mommy, not just a growing belly.  I love the belly panel.  Its stretchy, thin and it helps support.  I cant say enough awesome things about them.  OH!  And they come in petite and talls too!!

4- Hypnobabies Birth Classes-  I have elected to go natural with this birth and I couldn't be more excited.  I opted to try Hypnobabies after suggestions from more than a couple of friends and online buddies.  I LOVE IT.  Never before have I felt so at peace, confident and excited for my birthing time!  I love the exercises you do at home, its kept me so much more relaxed and comfortable this time around.  I cant say enough good things. 

5- Online Communities of Like Minded Women- Its been really important for me to surround myself with people who feel the same way and support me in my birthing plan.  When you choose something other than the standard experience, you get looked at like you are crazy.  In fact, I couldn't tell you how many people have straight up told me that I'm nuts for going natural.  So it has been really awesome to find online communities and other blogs where you can go for some encouragement and who support your decision.

6- Wendy's Apple Pecan Chicken Salad- Are you kidding me?!  I am pretty sure that you could take just about anything and dip it in Pomegranate Vinaigrette and it would be heavenly.  I couldn't tell you which component of the salad I love the most because they are all so lovely together.  Yes, its $6, but if I am eating out anyway, I would rather get something other than burger and fries. 

7- doTERRA Essential Lavender Oil-  It is so potent and concentrated that you only need a drop to completely relax you.  I love it while meditating/self hypnosis, bath time, massage time, lunch...just kidding, but I really love it!

8- Suave Professional Volumizing Mousse- I got a coupon for a free product from Suave and this is the one that I chose.  First off, having a sensitive pregnancy nose, smell is very important.  I like this because it has a really great fresh citrus scent to it.  It does a great job adding volume and I even use it to scrunch when I am feeling lazy.  The best part?!  Its less than $3!!

9- Lane Bryant Balconette Bra- Being a plus size and chesty gal, SUPPORT is the number one priority.  It doesnt hurt when you can pick up extenders at the same time so in case you flux like I do, you can still wear your awesome bra!  Its also a sweet bonus when you can get it in a ton of cute colors and prints.  Its always nice to have a little something to help you feel a little sexy on those days when your not feeling your best. 

There are plenty more, but these are my faves.  What were or are your faves?  Share and let me know!

Exhaustion

One of the most difficult parts of parenting for me has been the complete and utter lack of sleep.  It started with pregnancy insomnia and the inability to get comfortable to sleep.  Then you have the baby, and we all know how demanding newborns and infants can be between the hours of 9 PM and 6 AM.  Then we have toddler transition, bad dreams, irregular waking patterns, teething, monsters in the closet, and stuffy noses.  I BARELY started to feel like I was actually able to get into a semi normal sleep pattern now that my children are 3 1/2 and 5 1/2....then I got pregnant and the sleep deprivation kicked in all over again.

I must admit that I have the worlds most AWESOME partner who takes most nights for me.  Even when the kids were infants and would take a bottle, Josh was up with them so I could get some sleep.  It saved me in ways that I cant explain.  I dont know if I am wired funny, but there is only so much sleep deprivation that my body and mind can handle.  I seriously will just start crying in the middle of nothing simply because I am SO tired.  (I have done it in public too...) 

You want to make a million dollars fast?!  Invent a way to a- let a mom to feel like 2 hours of sleep is actually 8 and is completely energized without it involving drugs...b- figure out a way to ensure a 8 hour sleep schedule for kids that doesn't involve drugs....or c- have the government pay for wonderful free post pardum doulas for the the first year of life like they do in France.  Where is my 23% in taxes really going anyway?!  I wish you all a great nights sleep or in the very least, a refreshing nap.  I know we could all use one. 

Mothers Day

So Mothers Day is approaching this weekend.  A day to give thanks to the woman who gave birth to you, took you in and raised you, loved you and helped form you into a better person.  The family dynamic that I have is a bit different from the "norm".  (what is norm anymore though)  I was adopted through a closed adoption and have never met my birth mother.  My sister on the other hand was adopted through a family friend in an open adoption.  Our mom, the woman who adopted, raised and loved us, passed away in 2004.  I then took in my sister and raised her from the age of 14.  So when I look at our family dynamic, I have to giggle because I have many women to give thanks to.  Our birth mother and our adoptive mother, and really- each other.  I "raised" Katy, but she made me grow up.

I typically don't try to set my expectations very high when it comes to Mothers Day.  Really, all I want is a day to relax and not have to cook and clean.  (but yet the cooking and the cleaning actually gets done)  When I talk to most of my girlfriends, this is their wish too.  Unfortunately, due to the fact that there are many women to be grateful for in our lives, it causes a day of driving to every single persons home or resting place to visit, chaos with kids sleep schedules and eventually, sheer exhaustion.  Again, I ask the question that I do OH SO OFTEN.  WHY do we do this to ourselves?!  I totally and completely understand wanting to show appreciation to these amazing women.  I understand wanting to show your gratitude in a formal way.  How on earth can everyone win?

I am proposing something a bit unconventional- maybe even a little crazy.  What if we took more time on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to show love and gratitude for those that we love so that when it comes down to the all important day, you do what you can and let the rest go.  What if that means someone doesn't get a visit?  It's ok.  There are these wonderful things called telephones.  They work both ways so that people can effectively communicate.  Google Alexander Grand Bell if you don't believe me.  All of the women that I am grateful for in my life are especially wonderful because they understand what it is to have young children.  They understand what it is to have to plan around late morning melt downs, nap times, potty breaks and frequent snacking.  And if they don't understand?  Well, then it's nothing that I have done wrong or bad- they just don't know better or have forgotten. 

I hope that for Mothers Day, we can all just have the day that we want.  If that involves 24 straight hours of pajamas and no shower or a big fancy dinner- I hope you get it.  If you are blessed to be a mother, enjoy the children that made you one.  If you have yet to become a mother, cut yourself some slack and know it will happen if you want it to.  If you have lost your mother, tell her how much you miss her.  If you have your mother, thank her for the late night hugs and kisses when you woke up with a nightmare.  Thank her for the reassurance about the boy you liked in the eighth grade.  Thank her for believing in you when you graduated from high school.  Thank her for holding your hand and giving you her blessing on your wedding day.  Most of all, thank her for making you the wonderful woman you are today.

Mommy guilt

I have had the lovely trials of mommy guilt since before my little Sophie was even welcomed into this world.  I gained a lot of weight, mostly due to poor eating choices.  But when you have been throwing up non stop for three months and the only thing that sounds good is french fries- I say go for it!  I still had guilt for feeding my growing baby fried potatoes rather than....a banana.  Then she was born.  I struggled with breast feeding for a few months and when the post pardum depression got real bad, I quit.  Thus, adding to the mommy guilt.  Then the six weeks of maternity leave was up and I had to leave her.  Even though I had the worlds greatest daycare provider, the guilt multiplied.  And so I was walking around with a three month old baby already feeling like the worlds biggest failure and worst mother on record.

I am now in a completely different place of my life.  I have two young children and expecting a third.  I am a stay at home daycare provider, so I have the luxury of staying home with my children and a couple more all day, everyday.  Now I experience mommy guilt for completely different reasons.  Because I watch other peoples wonderful kids, I see the mommy guilt when they are dropped off every morning.  I have mommy guilt for letting my kids have an oreo before breakfast.  And as completely excited as we are to welcome a new one into our growing family, I feel guilty that my two older children will feel left out. 

Motherhood is all about finding a balance, and part of that is balancing your mommy guilt.  I am secure that I am home with my kids all day and that they know I'm here for them.  On the other hand, I feel it necessary to try to expand their horizons in as many different ways as possible since they are home all day.  What may be balance for one mom may be completely un-doable for another.  I think the biggest contributing factor to mommy guilt it watching other mommies who appear to have it all together despite harder trials, more children, or seem to make it all appear so very easy.  Why do we do it to ourselves? 

Living in the highest anti-depression prescribed state in the nation makes me wonder do any of us really have it together or is life about just making everyday as good as possible and trying harder then next day?  I feel like turning 30 has liberated me as a mom.  I have become confident in the choices that I make for me and my kids.  I have quit comparing myself to the other seemingly perfect moms that I see all around me.  I quit listening to the criticisms that I hear from "friends" and family.  Doing these three things have made motherhood a much more enjoyable experience for me.  Is this the golden key to happiness?  For me- yeah, it sure helps.  For you or for other people- couldn't tell you.  I just hope that we can all just cut ourselves some slack and remember why we wanted to have kids to begin with. 

Nesting, nesting, nesting....

So the one thing that I LOVE about late second, early third trimester is nesting.  I know that sounds kind of funny though, huh?!  It usually begins with a massive panic attack brought on by the feeling that I have nothing prepared.  I will have a freak out that I have no clothes, (which I dont- I gave them all away), no room, (which is true, but we co-sleep for the first year anyway), no name picked out, (which I THINK we do, I just cant decide if it's right) and an overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness.  The great thing is when I am standing on the other side of all the panic, with a clean kitchen, and feeling like somehow it will all work out.
The other great thing about the post freak out is that I stop and realize how much support I DO have.  How many people around us are more than happy to help, we just need to tell them what we need.  Now, I am quite outspoken and outgoing and generally have no problem talking to people- except when it comes to needing help.  Why is that?  It's really so stupid that I do that.  I end up killing myself with the stress of things when all it would take is a couple of phone calls to make it all go away.  Duh, it really is a no brainer, and yet, I struggle.  I also have a hard time when people spontaneously give to me and my family.  I dont want to accept it, or I feel like its far too much.  (which sometimes it is- SHAR)  I need to learn to let it go and be open to help.  I am usually the first lined up to help someone else, but when the shoe is on the other foot, I freak the crap out.  Dumb.  Really- it is.
I am feeling quite good today.  No braxton hicks, no cramping, and shockingly enough- NO HEADACHES!!  So what is a feeling good mother to do??  CLEAN.  Haha, I have put off really deep cleaning things for so long that it feels really good to wash walls and baseboards.  I still dont think I will be mopping, I think I will leave that for Josh.  I am so grateful that I have a hubby that helps out.  He doesnt always do things the way that I WANT them done or on my time schedule, but he helps.  He will put away clean clothes and dishes, wipe poopy Duncan bums, take out the garbage- and let's be real, thats the stuff I REALLY hate doing anyway.  I will gladly iron and vacuum.  
I really do have an awesome partner.  I like to whine about silly things, but when push comes to shove, no one in the world has got my back like my Josh.  When I decided to go against the grain and have a natural delivery for our third, he was completely on my side and just wanted to know what he could do to support me.  When I decided to quit working out of the home and open our home to other peoples children so that we could make ends meet, he bought me a new car so I could haul children around.  When I decided that I was prepared for gastric bypass surgery and ready to move forward, he helped research the best possible providers and talked to as many people as he could to find out their experience for me.  He just rocks like that.  Now if I could only get him to put the dirty dishes in the SINK, rather than the counter....

I am blessed and I am grateful for all that I have.  I have so much that I could sit here and list them all but it would make for one LONG- A post.  We will save that for another day.

Haha, aren't I funny?

My girlfriend and I were talking over making dinner and I was at a loss for what to make.  I had a pound of defrosted ground beef- and nothing to do with it.  She told me that she would only tell me an idea if I put it on my blog.  I know that she was kidding but I had to do it anyway.  Oh, and dont ever play truth or dare with me.  There isnt a whole lot I WONT do. 

So dinner tonight was a recipe affectionately called:

BBQ Beef Ramen Noodles

1 lb ground beef
1-1/2 cups BBQ sauce
2 packages ramen noodles- any flavor

Brown the ground beef with some garlic salt and minced onions.  Add the flavor packet to the beef and add BBQ sauce to make a thick sauce.  Boil the noodles according to directions and add to sauce.  I learned the hard way, break the noodles.  The sauce is pretty thick and hard to mix when the noddles are 4 ft long.  ENJOY!  Sophie sure did- two bowls full!

What do you wish you would have known?

I grew up as the oldest of three kids and truth be told, I was....spoiled.  And not just spoiled or well taken care of, but a brat- a big fat spoiled brat.  I had nearly any and everything that I ever wanted.  If I didnt, you would be hearing about it.  In my teenage years, my parents attempted to reign me in, but the damage was done.  I got what I wanted, when I wanted it- and I thought that was how life was. 

I went away to college, it didnt change.  I was a brat in college.  I was a brat to my room mates and especially my mother.  I worked and always had, but if you thought that taught me any sort of lesson about budgeting, living within my means or gratitude, you are wrong.  Whenever I got into trouble, my loving, easily manipulated mother came to my rescue.  It was really awesome to be me.

So, at the age of 23, my mother passes away and I find myself alone.  No parents to support me or bail me out.  In fact, I now had a 12 year old to take care of.  What the heck??  How was this possible and how the heck was I going to make it?  Did this change my attitude?  Nope.

Josh and I had been dating and I never had expected him to take care of me.  I wasnt comfortable with him seeing me in that kind of light.  We chose to get married a couple of years later, had a daughter, adopted a Katy, bought a house, even had a puppy.  Did my attitude change?  Well, kind of.  I still wanted what I wanted when I wanted it- and thus became the cavern of credit cards and lies to cover up.  It wreaked havoc on my marriage. It wasn't just about the money.  It was the general attitude of overwhelming brattiness.  (yes, that's a word)

Well, cut to six years of marriage, going through rehab for addiction and counseling for a year.  What did I learn?  Its not all about me.  Its not all about what I want and how I feel.  I get to take a step back and ask myself if what I want is best for both me and those around me.  What a revelation.  I wish I would have known this much earlier in life.  Here is the funny thing though, when people told me that in my younger years, I laughed at them.  How DARE they not know that it's all about me, all the time?!  Don't they know who I am?! 

The funny thing was, I didn't know who I was, so how in the world would I expect others to know?  The greatest lesson I have been able to take away from this is how I am going to raise my kids.  I work to instill a sense of self worth so that they aren't looking for a Barbie or a new sweater to define them.  I work to instill a greater sense of self.  I also work with them on things like budgeting.  I literally had NO idea how to do it and actually live by it until I was 30!  So what do you wish you would have known?  What lesson was lost on you?  (I actually have a laundry list if anyone is interested)  What do you strive to instill in the next generation?