Nesting, nesting, nesting....

So the one thing that I LOVE about late second, early third trimester is nesting.  I know that sounds kind of funny though, huh?!  It usually begins with a massive panic attack brought on by the feeling that I have nothing prepared.  I will have a freak out that I have no clothes, (which I dont- I gave them all away), no room, (which is true, but we co-sleep for the first year anyway), no name picked out, (which I THINK we do, I just cant decide if it's right) and an overwhelming feeling of unpreparedness.  The great thing is when I am standing on the other side of all the panic, with a clean kitchen, and feeling like somehow it will all work out.
The other great thing about the post freak out is that I stop and realize how much support I DO have.  How many people around us are more than happy to help, we just need to tell them what we need.  Now, I am quite outspoken and outgoing and generally have no problem talking to people- except when it comes to needing help.  Why is that?  It's really so stupid that I do that.  I end up killing myself with the stress of things when all it would take is a couple of phone calls to make it all go away.  Duh, it really is a no brainer, and yet, I struggle.  I also have a hard time when people spontaneously give to me and my family.  I dont want to accept it, or I feel like its far too much.  (which sometimes it is- SHAR)  I need to learn to let it go and be open to help.  I am usually the first lined up to help someone else, but when the shoe is on the other foot, I freak the crap out.  Dumb.  Really- it is.
I am feeling quite good today.  No braxton hicks, no cramping, and shockingly enough- NO HEADACHES!!  So what is a feeling good mother to do??  CLEAN.  Haha, I have put off really deep cleaning things for so long that it feels really good to wash walls and baseboards.  I still dont think I will be mopping, I think I will leave that for Josh.  I am so grateful that I have a hubby that helps out.  He doesnt always do things the way that I WANT them done or on my time schedule, but he helps.  He will put away clean clothes and dishes, wipe poopy Duncan bums, take out the garbage- and let's be real, thats the stuff I REALLY hate doing anyway.  I will gladly iron and vacuum.  
I really do have an awesome partner.  I like to whine about silly things, but when push comes to shove, no one in the world has got my back like my Josh.  When I decided to go against the grain and have a natural delivery for our third, he was completely on my side and just wanted to know what he could do to support me.  When I decided to quit working out of the home and open our home to other peoples children so that we could make ends meet, he bought me a new car so I could haul children around.  When I decided that I was prepared for gastric bypass surgery and ready to move forward, he helped research the best possible providers and talked to as many people as he could to find out their experience for me.  He just rocks like that.  Now if I could only get him to put the dirty dishes in the SINK, rather than the counter....

I am blessed and I am grateful for all that I have.  I have so much that I could sit here and list them all but it would make for one LONG- A post.  We will save that for another day.