Mothers Day

So Mothers Day is approaching this weekend.  A day to give thanks to the woman who gave birth to you, took you in and raised you, loved you and helped form you into a better person.  The family dynamic that I have is a bit different from the "norm".  (what is norm anymore though)  I was adopted through a closed adoption and have never met my birth mother.  My sister on the other hand was adopted through a family friend in an open adoption.  Our mom, the woman who adopted, raised and loved us, passed away in 2004.  I then took in my sister and raised her from the age of 14.  So when I look at our family dynamic, I have to giggle because I have many women to give thanks to.  Our birth mother and our adoptive mother, and really- each other.  I "raised" Katy, but she made me grow up.

I typically don't try to set my expectations very high when it comes to Mothers Day.  Really, all I want is a day to relax and not have to cook and clean.  (but yet the cooking and the cleaning actually gets done)  When I talk to most of my girlfriends, this is their wish too.  Unfortunately, due to the fact that there are many women to be grateful for in our lives, it causes a day of driving to every single persons home or resting place to visit, chaos with kids sleep schedules and eventually, sheer exhaustion.  Again, I ask the question that I do OH SO OFTEN.  WHY do we do this to ourselves?!  I totally and completely understand wanting to show appreciation to these amazing women.  I understand wanting to show your gratitude in a formal way.  How on earth can everyone win?

I am proposing something a bit unconventional- maybe even a little crazy.  What if we took more time on a daily/weekly/monthly basis to show love and gratitude for those that we love so that when it comes down to the all important day, you do what you can and let the rest go.  What if that means someone doesn't get a visit?  It's ok.  There are these wonderful things called telephones.  They work both ways so that people can effectively communicate.  Google Alexander Grand Bell if you don't believe me.  All of the women that I am grateful for in my life are especially wonderful because they understand what it is to have young children.  They understand what it is to have to plan around late morning melt downs, nap times, potty breaks and frequent snacking.  And if they don't understand?  Well, then it's nothing that I have done wrong or bad- they just don't know better or have forgotten. 

I hope that for Mothers Day, we can all just have the day that we want.  If that involves 24 straight hours of pajamas and no shower or a big fancy dinner- I hope you get it.  If you are blessed to be a mother, enjoy the children that made you one.  If you have yet to become a mother, cut yourself some slack and know it will happen if you want it to.  If you have lost your mother, tell her how much you miss her.  If you have your mother, thank her for the late night hugs and kisses when you woke up with a nightmare.  Thank her for the reassurance about the boy you liked in the eighth grade.  Thank her for believing in you when you graduated from high school.  Thank her for holding your hand and giving you her blessing on your wedding day.  Most of all, thank her for making you the wonderful woman you are today.