***Kristen disclaimer- this is in no way meant to offend- just give a totally Book-o-Kristen view on how we have this ridiculous notion on how we should be, act, dress***
OK my peeps- I was perusing the internet-age and looking at different articles written by women, for women and I was a little irritated. Why in the world do we expect each other to have a blanket set of abilities and/or think that we should all be working towards learning how to do certain things? And why in the world is there an age standard or limit? Why is 50 some magical age in which we as women should attain a skill set? Isn't the point of life to live the life and have the skill set that makes you a happy individual? Why as women do we think that the only way to happiness is through a standard that is usually unattainable? Why cant we just leave each other to flourish in our own unique ways and in our own facets of happiness? I am going to "Kristen-ize" the list down below. Please feel free to add anything you think or feel in the comments section!
By 50, women should know how to:
Say “no” without feeling guilty- This is a skill that as human beings we should have or should be working on no matter your age- what a miserable existence if you spend the first 50 years of your life yessing people to death.
Book their own travel- With the internet- this is something most teenagers are able to do
Say “I’m sorry” and mean it- Don't we as mothers teach our children to do this starting at age 1 or 2? 50 is the new standard??
Laugh at themselves-Im laughing at myself writing this list right now. Again- basic human trait.
Change a tire-My dad taught me this at 15. Now that we all have cell phones and AAA- being able to change a tire can take on many a forms.
Take themselves out to dinner and/or a movie — on their own-OK I get the point of it but really why is that something that we all need to do? Am I a failure as a woman if I choose to invite company to join me to dinner and a movie?
Get around in a foreign country- OK another thing I get the point of....but its pretty obscure- and potentially dangerous depending on what country you are in.
Program and operate their TV (this is easier said than done!)- programming a TV? huh? Do you mean a DVR or a blu-ray player? How does one program a TV?
Mix at least a few classic cocktails- As a recovering alcoholic- the only cocktail I mix is Crystal Light into water, milk into coffee or Sprite into cranberry juice if we are getting really fancy and we have a special occasion.
Do their own taxes- HR Block.com- nuff said
Invest in the stock market- That's a really good one actually- I think as women we should have more knowledge about growing our money responsibly- so no snarkiness here.
Make themselves and their own needs a priority- I think going along with this is also learning when the needs of others come first.
Sew — at least a little- ok- thats a practical one as mending comes in handy. Do you need to know how to make quilts and your own clothes? Not unless thats your thing.
Defend themselves against an attacker with at least one signature self-defense move- yup- but you really should know how to do that WELL before the age of 50.
Perform CPR- absolutely- but I think that's a skill we should know from an early age- especially if we have small children in the home.
Carve a turkey- I have never really understood why the actually cutting up of the turkey is such a big deal. For real- I do not know anyone who turns their nose up to a homemade roasted turkey because it was sliced incorrectly. Please educate me if there is something I am missing on this.
Choose their own wine- Unfortunately I was WELL VERSED in this in my 20's and it landed me in rehab. Not exactly high on my priority list any more.
Light a grill — and then cook on it- agreed. Grilling is fun- but dont wait until your 50 to do it! PS- its an easy way to your husband to make dinner and he is none the wiser.
Swim- isnt that why we put our kids in swimming lessons at age 5? And as long as you can tread water and have fun recreating in the water- do you really NEED to know how to do the breast stroke in perfect formation?
Order a credit report — and then be able to read it- do it online for free. I do it every year and its super easy.
Examine their own breasts- If we wait until age 50 to know how to do this, we are putting ourselves at risk. Teach your daughters as teenagers and do it monthly!
Graciously accept a compliment- its amazing what a simple Thank You can do. Teach your daughters this from an early age and I guarantee it will help improve their self confidence.
Flip their own breaker- I'm assuming that this is electrical talk and not some dirty innuendo I know where the breaker box is and if it needs a flipping, I know how to turn it from right to left.
Plunge a toilet-trust me- if you have ever had a 2 year old, or a husband, you have become a PRO at this.....and your probably a plunger officianato and can explain to others the pros and cons of different designs.
Properly hang photos and artwork- command strips
Whip up a signature dish that’s not spaghetti or meatloaf- A signature dish? Hrm, at this stage in life- my dinner plans consist of asking the children what they WILL eat and making that. SO, maybe by age 50 I will have the luxury of a signature dish.
Walk away from a situation or relationship when it’s not working- I have learned to walk away. Its actually a painful but necessary thing. The thing I have NOT mastered? How to forgive deep hurt and move forward with forgiveness. THAT'S the tough one.
Tell off at least one person who deserves it- I kind of hate this one. First of all- why is it that telling someone off is necessary? You can stand up for yourself. You can state your opinion but I think that sometimes the harder thing is to just shut up. Once you have said something- you cant take it back. The more mature route MOST of the time is to just be quiet.
Say what they really want in bed- grrrr! Sexual prime for women is in their 30's- don't wait until 50 to take charge ladies!
Put together a piece of “some assembly required” furniture- this must be for rich people that have never had to go buy furniture at Ikea and then attempt to assemble children's furniture without words on the instructions.
Apply makeup without a mirror- But WHY? Why on earth would you EVER need to put makeup on without a mirror? That is the stupidest thing ever.
Buy something crazy expensive just because they want it- if you have the money to burn on things and you are not going to put yourself in debt- knock your self out. BUT- debt has become a way of life that affects all of us and hurts us far more than just in the pocket book. And before you buy it- think about WHY you want it...is it because you want to show it off, because someone else has it, or because you think that it will bring your happiness? Stuff doesn't make you happy. I promise. Been there, done that....have had the credit card bills to prove it.
Ask for a raise- dang straight. When you feel like you deserve something- ask! BUT don't feel entitled. That's not a cute look at any age.
Mow their own yard- wait a minute- there are ladies out there who DON'T do their own yard work? Who are you and how do I become you?
Unclog a drain- back to the plunger comment. Who HASN'T plunged out the kitchen sink a time or two?
Tell which direction they are facing- I live in Utah. Big mountains to the right and your headed north....oh and everything is on a grid. I'm sure there is an app for that too.
Tell at least one really good joke- and more importantly laugh at yourself when you tell a really dumb one too!
Make small talk with just about anyone- Strangers in the checkout line at stores beware. I'm THAT girl. I like your shoes- I tell you. The weather is nice- I mention it. We always tell our kids not to talk to strangers but then we never tell them its OK to talk to them later in life.
Know when to reveal personal information — and when not to- I don't really know about this....like I have no experience in filtering my life. My life is an open book. If you have a question- just ask. If I don't want to talk about it- I will tell you.
Think critically and independently when hearing speeches and listening to the news- case in point....facebook political posts are stupid- your not changing anyone's mind. Listen to the news and wait for it.....THINK ABOUT IT. If you have questions- find the answers! Don't just trust Fox News or someone else's interpretation.
Paint a room- wait- some people don't paint their own house? Oh, this must be those rich people I hear about. My husband would just like it if I QUIT painting rooms....seriously.
Buy the right-sized bra- Asked to get sized! Ask for what you need! And this is not only applicable to your boobs! Side bar- I actually DON'T buy the size I measure at because after wearing it 2 times its too big....so I buy a band size smaller and a cup size bigger and it lasts A LOT longer.
Beautifully wrap a present- and remember that not every present has to be a work of art. Sometimes a gift bag is the best way to go about it......a three year old doesn't care if you used handmade, organic, hand tied, hemp ribbon from Indonesia. I promise.
Hail a taxi- huh? I drive a mini van. And I live in Utah....do we HAVE cabs?
Reach out to an old friend- isn't that what facebook was created for?
Jump a car battery- Again- if you can drive you should be able to do this.
Show love with actions and not just words- WHY are we waiting till 50 to show love with actions?
Put together a real retirement strategy- excellent- but there should be a strategy in your 20's with goals and benchmarks along the way. If you START planning for retirement at 50- your effed.
Look good in a photo- Are we talking a selfie in the bathroom mirror? Are we talking a family portrait? Why is this an important "skill" in life to have?
Open a bottle of champagne- Kristen opening a bottle of champagne is dangerous indeed. Not because I don't know how to properly uncork- but because it would be gone in about 35 seconds and I would be removing my clothes and cussing like a sailor.
OK- Now we are back to reality. I was being INCREDIBLY snarky and dumb about a lot of this. I get that. The point I am trying to make is why is there a checklist of things that we "have to" know how to do by a certain age? Why?? Why are we telling others what skills they should possess and by a dead line? Isn't the beauty of life that we all change and move through life at different rates and learn different lessons at different times? Tell me what the dumbest "milestone" thing that is expected of you?
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