So, I promise to come back to my makeup blog later today, I just wanted to let you all know about a fun opportunity that I have! I was selected as a participant to receive a "Vox Box". A "Vox Box" is a box full of items from companies who want you to try out their items and give them feedback as part of their market research. I was selected to receive the "Love Box" and there wasn't any information on what items are coming- so it's a great surprise! I am supposed to receive it next Wednesday or Thursday so I will keep you guys posted!
Second of all, I wanted to clue you in on a couple of my new favorite websites!! I ordered some Simple brand shoes for Josh that retail for $75 a pair, for $14.99 at 6PM.com. They have shoes for the whole family and clothes. Their shipping is free too!! The other one I am obsessed with right now is Hautelook.com. I LOVE their beauty section. They will have expensive lines like Stila, Urban Decay and Crown Brush for over 50% off!! Their offers change everyday- so its always something new. The other one that I am waiting on but that I am obsessed with is HauteFox.com. Its for us plussies who want something edgy, sexy and fun. I ordered two shirts for $9.99 a piece!! I am waiting on the package to arrive so I will let you know what the quality is once I receive my package.
OK, I'm just so excited about some fun online shopping and who doesn't love a good deal?! Anyway- I shall return later today with a blush, bronzer and contouring piece! Thanks ladies!!
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
"Oh she died? Well she deserved it."
OK, So I am totally going to go there. I am opening a can of worms and I am somewhat scared for the backlash. I know I have been doing a carefree fun makeup blog but I have really been thinking about this for a while and felt it necessary to touch on it. Whitney Houston just passed away, before that it was Amy Winehouse, Heath Ledger, Anna Nicole Smith, River Phoenix, Elivs Presley, Marilyn Monroe and Judy Garland. They all allegedly passed away from addiction. Some deaths were intentional, some were not. We can never be sure because, we aren't them.
I bring this up because there has been quite a few posts on social media like facebook and twitter with messages that basically shame the nation for grieving for Whitney Houston's death. "How dare a state or city put a flag at half mass for her?" "Why are people shocked, she was a crack head?" "It's all her ex's fault anyway for getting her hooked on drugs". These statements have made me really sad. When did we become so calloused that the loss of a human life was brushed off because they lost the battle with a horrible disease?
I know a lot of people who also do not believe that addiction is a disease, that its just poor choices. I can tell you first hand as a person who has looked addiction straight in the face- that statement is really false. If a person was healthy in their mind, would they put their life in danger? If a person was healthy, would they take their own life to escape the demons they are battling? If a person was healthy, would they steal and hurt and lie to others, bankrupt themselves, prostitute or worse for their drug of choice? The answer is no. When you are battling addiction and making horrible decisions, addiction is truly running the show.
Now, before I get clobbered and misunderstood, please understand that I am not justifying or saying that its ok for people to go and do whatever they want just because they are dealing with addiction. I am just saying that it is obvious that they are not healthy or they wouldn't be putting themselves or those around them in danger in the first place.
I think that its important to remember that people are more than just their problems too. These celebrities that passed away were someones child, parent, sibling or spouse. Those that are left are grieving the loss of their family member. It makes sad to think that their family members have to hear horrible and derogatory remarks while trying to cope and heal. I guess what I am saying is I wish there was more compassion from people. Everyone has problems and I for one am grateful that my problems are mine. Have a little bit of compassion and understanding and respect for others- even if you don't understand their choices.
OK, I am stepping off my soap box once again. Thanks for "going there" with me :)
I bring this up because there has been quite a few posts on social media like facebook and twitter with messages that basically shame the nation for grieving for Whitney Houston's death. "How dare a state or city put a flag at half mass for her?" "Why are people shocked, she was a crack head?" "It's all her ex's fault anyway for getting her hooked on drugs". These statements have made me really sad. When did we become so calloused that the loss of a human life was brushed off because they lost the battle with a horrible disease?
I know a lot of people who also do not believe that addiction is a disease, that its just poor choices. I can tell you first hand as a person who has looked addiction straight in the face- that statement is really false. If a person was healthy in their mind, would they put their life in danger? If a person was healthy, would they take their own life to escape the demons they are battling? If a person was healthy, would they steal and hurt and lie to others, bankrupt themselves, prostitute or worse for their drug of choice? The answer is no. When you are battling addiction and making horrible decisions, addiction is truly running the show.
Now, before I get clobbered and misunderstood, please understand that I am not justifying or saying that its ok for people to go and do whatever they want just because they are dealing with addiction. I am just saying that it is obvious that they are not healthy or they wouldn't be putting themselves or those around them in danger in the first place.
I think that its important to remember that people are more than just their problems too. These celebrities that passed away were someones child, parent, sibling or spouse. Those that are left are grieving the loss of their family member. It makes sad to think that their family members have to hear horrible and derogatory remarks while trying to cope and heal. I guess what I am saying is I wish there was more compassion from people. Everyone has problems and I for one am grateful that my problems are mine. Have a little bit of compassion and understanding and respect for others- even if you don't understand their choices.
OK, I am stepping off my soap box once again. Thanks for "going there" with me :)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Love never fades
So I am thrilled and scared to death to write this post. This is something life altering and remarkable but that I have been private about. This subject is beyond near and dear to my heart and I am scared that posting this may change things but I want to document every tiny emotion so I have it always with me. Let me preface all of this with the fact that I just wrote that my blog had become an online journal of sorts. I was given a blessing (a patriarchal one for my LDS friends) when I was 14 that told me to journal my life not only for my posterity but for myself. I am not a good diary keeper and I am not exactly consistent with my blogging but little did I know that this tiny little blog with 9 followers would forever change my life for the better.
Let me start from the beginning. I am adopted. I was placed through LDS family services when I was two months old in the loving arms of my parents, Gerald and Laurel Macdonald. I cant think of a time when I didn't know that I was adopted. My parents told me from the time I was an infant the story of the loving mother who made my body and gave to to my parents to raise me. I was adopted back in the 80's where everything was closed and adoption records were sealed. The details of how I came to be were very sketchy but the only thing that I was told was that my birth mother was a return missionary of the LDS church, she attended BYU and that she made a mistake. That part was always a little hard for me. I grew up with the unspoken belief that I was a mistake. It wasn't until I was a mother myself that I could process through and completely be at peace with the choice of wording.
I grew up in a home with two other adopted siblings. I also had a few friends who were adopted. I always felt different from them because I was never angry. I didn't grow up being angry with a mythical mother figure who discarded me or gave me away. I have always been at peace and have always felt that I was where I was supposed to be. Make no mistake- I was always curious who this woman was. Did she think of me? Did she know anything about me? Did she want to know me? I was always curious but I also knew that if I were to pursue the dream of seeking her out that in a way it would devastate my parents and I never wanted to disappoint them. I knew from a very early age that if I were ever to find my birth parents, I would have to wait until after my parents passed away. Unfortunately, the day where my parents passed away came much, much earlier that I ever imagined it would. My father passed away from complications of cancer in 1998 and my mother died from complications after an accident in 2004.
A year or so after my mother passed away I made the decision that it was time for me to seek out my birth mother. I did a lot of investigating through hospital records, just trying to find a name. I contacted the agency I was adopted through looking for any information. I went as far as to try to hire a private investigator to locate my birth parents. After an interview, I was told that because of the adoption laws back then, it was going to take a court injunction to have my records opened and that the likeliness of a judge granting it was slim to none unless it was a life threatening medical reason. He told me that the best bet I had at this point was to go online to some of the various adoptee registries and put my information out there. That way, if they were looking for me, they could find me. I was told that it was a total needle in a haystack situation as there are hundreds and hundreds of places to register.
Eight years passed along with no thought of the registry and really no hope that my dreams would come to fruition. I went through a lot of therapy in those years and I came to an amazing place within myself where I feel complete and whole. I wasn't looking for anyone else to fill a void for me or complete me.
So cut to Thursday February 9th at 3:57 PM. I had just gotten Sophie from school, got the kids a snack and sat down to nurse Lyza when my phone rang. I cant explain in words what happened to me. My hands went numb and I felt like I needed to answer the phone. I didn't know the number but I recognized that it was a Colorado phone number. I fought myself and finally I decided to let the answering machine get it. I figured if someone wanted to really get a hold of me- they could leave a message. The message transcribed was- "Hi this is Lynn and Im looking for Kristen Parsons. My number is XXXXXXXX and I live in Denver, Colorado and I would like to talk to Kristen." I dont know how- but I knew it was my mother. Shaking, I picked up my phone and redialed the phone number. Lynn answered the phone and I told her that I am Kristen and that I missed a phone call from her. Her response was: I dont know how to say this....(long pause) and before she could say anything else- I blurted out- "are you my mother?" She responded that she thought that she was.
She asked me my birthday and asked if I was adopted through LDS family services. I said yes, yes, yes and wept. All I could say over and over and over was- Oh my God. Oh my God. She started out with explaining how a day hasn't gone by without thinking and loving me. She explained her reasons for giving me up for adoption and wanted to make it clear that she was not a teenage floosie and told me the story of how I came to be (which is extreamly private and I am not willing to post here.) It matched ver batum the story I was told from the time I was young.
We sat and talked for over two hours. She explained that she had found me through that needle in a haystack registry. SUPER long story shorter- she found my blog. She found my online journal and was able to read it and learn about me. She was able to see a picture of me and knew without a doubt that I was hers. I cant really tell you the specifics of our conversation because I was in shock and not really with it. I learned that I have three siblings. I want to give them the respect of not opening them up to my online world so I will not go into detail about them. I will say that I found them on facebook and could not stop looking through pictures. I look like my mom. A LOT. I was shocked because I have never looked like anyone- ever! My children were the first genetic relatives that I have ever known.
I am still in a state of shock, amazement, gratitude and overwhelmingly- LOVE. My mother wrote the words "love never fades" on her facebook status. Truer words have never been spoken. I am completely overwhelmed right now with all of the emotions and I am trying to process and digest all of this. I found out a few years ago from my Aunt that my mother and her spoke before she passed away about the desire for me to find my birth mother. I truly believe that she facilitated this from the other side. Miracles do happen and prayers really are answered. I look forward to the future and I look forward to getting to know the woman who brought me into this world. I look forward to my family expanding and for my children to get to know her.
The one thing that I ask, beg and plea is that my friends and more importantly, my family can give me the respect and space to get through this- and in my own way. I am overwhelmed trying to process this on my own, let along help others through this. I know those around me love and support me but I do need a bit of time to digest. Please, please, please be respectful of my birth family and their feelings- and please don't inform me how I need to feel and how to process. Thank you all for your love, respect and support.
Let me start from the beginning. I am adopted. I was placed through LDS family services when I was two months old in the loving arms of my parents, Gerald and Laurel Macdonald. I cant think of a time when I didn't know that I was adopted. My parents told me from the time I was an infant the story of the loving mother who made my body and gave to to my parents to raise me. I was adopted back in the 80's where everything was closed and adoption records were sealed. The details of how I came to be were very sketchy but the only thing that I was told was that my birth mother was a return missionary of the LDS church, she attended BYU and that she made a mistake. That part was always a little hard for me. I grew up with the unspoken belief that I was a mistake. It wasn't until I was a mother myself that I could process through and completely be at peace with the choice of wording.
I grew up in a home with two other adopted siblings. I also had a few friends who were adopted. I always felt different from them because I was never angry. I didn't grow up being angry with a mythical mother figure who discarded me or gave me away. I have always been at peace and have always felt that I was where I was supposed to be. Make no mistake- I was always curious who this woman was. Did she think of me? Did she know anything about me? Did she want to know me? I was always curious but I also knew that if I were to pursue the dream of seeking her out that in a way it would devastate my parents and I never wanted to disappoint them. I knew from a very early age that if I were ever to find my birth parents, I would have to wait until after my parents passed away. Unfortunately, the day where my parents passed away came much, much earlier that I ever imagined it would. My father passed away from complications of cancer in 1998 and my mother died from complications after an accident in 2004.
A year or so after my mother passed away I made the decision that it was time for me to seek out my birth mother. I did a lot of investigating through hospital records, just trying to find a name. I contacted the agency I was adopted through looking for any information. I went as far as to try to hire a private investigator to locate my birth parents. After an interview, I was told that because of the adoption laws back then, it was going to take a court injunction to have my records opened and that the likeliness of a judge granting it was slim to none unless it was a life threatening medical reason. He told me that the best bet I had at this point was to go online to some of the various adoptee registries and put my information out there. That way, if they were looking for me, they could find me. I was told that it was a total needle in a haystack situation as there are hundreds and hundreds of places to register.
Eight years passed along with no thought of the registry and really no hope that my dreams would come to fruition. I went through a lot of therapy in those years and I came to an amazing place within myself where I feel complete and whole. I wasn't looking for anyone else to fill a void for me or complete me.
So cut to Thursday February 9th at 3:57 PM. I had just gotten Sophie from school, got the kids a snack and sat down to nurse Lyza when my phone rang. I cant explain in words what happened to me. My hands went numb and I felt like I needed to answer the phone. I didn't know the number but I recognized that it was a Colorado phone number. I fought myself and finally I decided to let the answering machine get it. I figured if someone wanted to really get a hold of me- they could leave a message. The message transcribed was- "Hi this is Lynn and Im looking for Kristen Parsons. My number is XXXXXXXX and I live in Denver, Colorado and I would like to talk to Kristen." I dont know how- but I knew it was my mother. Shaking, I picked up my phone and redialed the phone number. Lynn answered the phone and I told her that I am Kristen and that I missed a phone call from her. Her response was: I dont know how to say this....(long pause) and before she could say anything else- I blurted out- "are you my mother?" She responded that she thought that she was.
She asked me my birthday and asked if I was adopted through LDS family services. I said yes, yes, yes and wept. All I could say over and over and over was- Oh my God. Oh my God. She started out with explaining how a day hasn't gone by without thinking and loving me. She explained her reasons for giving me up for adoption and wanted to make it clear that she was not a teenage floosie and told me the story of how I came to be (which is extreamly private and I am not willing to post here.) It matched ver batum the story I was told from the time I was young.
We sat and talked for over two hours. She explained that she had found me through that needle in a haystack registry. SUPER long story shorter- she found my blog. She found my online journal and was able to read it and learn about me. She was able to see a picture of me and knew without a doubt that I was hers. I cant really tell you the specifics of our conversation because I was in shock and not really with it. I learned that I have three siblings. I want to give them the respect of not opening them up to my online world so I will not go into detail about them. I will say that I found them on facebook and could not stop looking through pictures. I look like my mom. A LOT. I was shocked because I have never looked like anyone- ever! My children were the first genetic relatives that I have ever known.
I am still in a state of shock, amazement, gratitude and overwhelmingly- LOVE. My mother wrote the words "love never fades" on her facebook status. Truer words have never been spoken. I am completely overwhelmed right now with all of the emotions and I am trying to process and digest all of this. I found out a few years ago from my Aunt that my mother and her spoke before she passed away about the desire for me to find my birth mother. I truly believe that she facilitated this from the other side. Miracles do happen and prayers really are answered. I look forward to the future and I look forward to getting to know the woman who brought me into this world. I look forward to my family expanding and for my children to get to know her.
The one thing that I ask, beg and plea is that my friends and more importantly, my family can give me the respect and space to get through this- and in my own way. I am overwhelmed trying to process this on my own, let along help others through this. I know those around me love and support me but I do need a bit of time to digest. Please, please, please be respectful of my birth family and their feelings- and please don't inform me how I need to feel and how to process. Thank you all for your love, respect and support.
Monday, February 6, 2012
OK, I lied
OK, so my last post was all about setting goals and keeping on task on my blog- then the sun rose the next day. I just wanted to share a dumb little thing that I tried and LOVED! OK, so I bake. I enjoy baking for the most part but there are parts that make me bonkers. Like when a cake sticks to the pan- so you line it with parchment to keep it from sticking...but then you have to bust out the scissors and cut a circle out...and that's time consuming and for some reason- I SUCK at cutting something perfectly. SO- I was baking a 8'' coffee cake for my sweetheart and I vaguely remember someone saying that they ran out of parchment so they used coffee filters instead. Well- I flattened one out and low and behold- it fit perfectly for an 8'' round pan! No cutting! Not to mention my lovely coffee cake turned out like heaven! So do yourself a favor and pick up a pack of plain coffee filters to make your baking life easier :) xoxo- Kristen
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Focus, Focus, Focus
So I have been reading quite a few different blogs lately and I have had the chance to interact with a few fellow bloggers and they question has been asked more than a few times- what is YOUR blog about. I attempt to explain that its about my life. Its about things that I love, whether that is about my kids, funny stories, changes and events in our life- things that make my life easier-you know- LIFE. I get kind of funny looks and get told that its more of an online diary that I am keeping and not necessarily a BLOG that I am keeping. SO- I decided to FOCUS. Have one main theme and focus. I have touched on my birth stories, motherhood, etc. I have talked about my struggle with addiction and bi polar syndrome. I have touched on my struggle with weight loss and my journey after having a gastric bypass.
I am not one for New Years Resolutions. I think that its another way that we set ourselves up to fail and then beat ourselves up for. I believe in making goals- but keeping them attainable and realistic. I believe goals are there to be something that we work towards whether its's over the coarse of a few weeks, a few months, a few years, or a lifetime. SO let me share a few goals with you that are internal, monetary, external, spiritual and for my children.
My goals for the months of February and March:
I will start back in a fitness routine a minimum of three days a week. I will incorporate cardio and resistance training.
I will use my tax returns to eliminate the bulk of my credit card debt and make a plan to eliminate the remaining balance.
I will find a quiet moment for myself each day. If only for five minutes- and relish in them.
I will read one book cover to cover. (this one is a lot harder than one might think for me)
I will set aside time once a week to spend with each child and my husband to make sure that they know how special they are to me.
I will NOT cut my hair. ( I want bra strap length hair and I keep getting tempted to cut it )
I will update my blog with updates on how my goals are coming along.
Phew....that's a lot (for me). SO, I want feedback. Are you resolution people? Do you stick to them? What works for you and what doesn't work? What are your goals? Do you want to do an accountability thing where we all check in together? Make a goal "club"? Love you all and I cant wait to hear back from you! XOXO- Kristen
I am not one for New Years Resolutions. I think that its another way that we set ourselves up to fail and then beat ourselves up for. I believe in making goals- but keeping them attainable and realistic. I believe goals are there to be something that we work towards whether its's over the coarse of a few weeks, a few months, a few years, or a lifetime. SO let me share a few goals with you that are internal, monetary, external, spiritual and for my children.
My goals for the months of February and March:
I will start back in a fitness routine a minimum of three days a week. I will incorporate cardio and resistance training.
I will use my tax returns to eliminate the bulk of my credit card debt and make a plan to eliminate the remaining balance.
I will find a quiet moment for myself each day. If only for five minutes- and relish in them.
I will read one book cover to cover. (this one is a lot harder than one might think for me)
I will set aside time once a week to spend with each child and my husband to make sure that they know how special they are to me.
I will NOT cut my hair. ( I want bra strap length hair and I keep getting tempted to cut it )
I will update my blog with updates on how my goals are coming along.
Phew....that's a lot (for me). SO, I want feedback. Are you resolution people? Do you stick to them? What works for you and what doesn't work? What are your goals? Do you want to do an accountability thing where we all check in together? Make a goal "club"? Love you all and I cant wait to hear back from you! XOXO- Kristen
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