Everything should be rainbows and unicorn farts...

So recently I have read a lot about people choosing attitudes, eliminating drama, always finding the best in everything, etc.  Sometimes I find myself agreeing and sometimes I don't.  I thought that I might step onto my soapbox for the day- so here we go.  Attitude and happiness are choices- correct.  Is it easy? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.  I think that it's natural that you aren't always happy and aren't always joyous and over the moon.  I feel like being happy is actually the exception and not the rule.

I remember moving here from Puerto Rico at age 13 and being in total and utter culture shock.  Everyone was beautiful and everyone was happy and hyper all the time.  I was REALLY overwhelmed.  I struggled all through my teenage years feeling like I didn't fit in.  It really had nothing to do with the looks aspect- it was a difference in personality.  People were happy all the time and spouting scripture and cheesy catch phrases about choosing good attitudes...and this was before social media like facebook existed.  I felt like I was doing something wrong that I didn't feel like that.  I also felt like I was being punished by God that my life was tough.  If I had more faith, if I had more friends, if I was doing it right, it would all be perfect- right?!

Skip ahead 10 years...When I chose to be a full time stay at home mom- I experienced a big adjustment period.  I was overwhelmed with everything that was involved with taking care of....EVERYTHING.  I went into this crazy place where I felt like I had to control everything all the time.  I seriously drove myself to drink because of it.  When I went through therapy because of the drinking problem that I developed- I realized all of the pressure that I had put on myself.  You want to know what the secret to my success was? I let myself believe that I was ALREADY perfect. My children were already perfect.  I realized that perfection was not something that I could create or force- it just WAS.  We are wonderful, perfect creatures and the rest- really doesn't matter all that much.  Sometimes good enough is perfect.

When I figured that much out, everything else worked itself out.  Life is not roses all the time.  There are ups and downs, ebbs and flows.  There are times when things will be amazing and wonderful and then there will be times that are down right hard.  Sometimes all it takes for me is to say- "yeah, things are really tough, and basically suck, but it wont always be like this and ITS OK.  I cant control or change the negativity, I can only accept it and try to move forward."  Acknowledging where you are in your journey and trying to go along for the ride is the key to freedom.

I also want to touch on "the secret".  I completely believe in the power of intention.  Where I struggle is that there is an attitude that if all your dreams aren't coming true all the time or if you are having a hard time- that you are doing "the secret" WRONG.  Guess what- your not doing anything wrong, that's just life.  Stop beating yourself up for it!

I get frustrated when I see people pinning or sharing goofy quotes on Facebook or Pinterest that are supposed to be deep and meaningful.  Its spouting messages about the beauty in all things.  Guess what- there is beauty in struggle and beauty in difficulty too.  THAT is where growth happens- when you are being challenged.  I know people mean well by them and that there is no harm in a good reminder sometimes but I wish that there were messages out there that said- It's ok that life sucks today, ride it out, there is always tomorrow.  Where are those messages?  Where are the messages that say- I am grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow because things aren't going the way I think they should go.

Relax, take a deep breath.  What if today you just decided that you were already perfect.  What if you were already whole and complete.  What would you accomplish?  What would change?  What would you give yourself permission to do?